That's the WAY!!

It's time of new season. Time of the cherry blossoms. I love this time of year. Somehow make me feel so warm and full of hope.   Picture ｆrom: http://shinshu.fm/MHz/82.40/archives/0000101915.html

I don't know where to start. I've just been to new work today. I am starting new career as a massage therapist. I am so excited but it hasn't sink into myself. It's been nearly two month since my dearest friend passed away from aggressive liver cancer on 27/7/09. We studied together hoping we both become good therapists and give comfort to many many people who need support. She became a lovely and professional aroma therapist. She was a mother. She was a woman with wisdom. She opened her big heart to everyone with big sweet smile. She never be judgmental. She always looked into my eyes and said "how are you?" and care for me. She shows me a courage and strength. She never forgot her sense of humor. She loved me to teach me how to love myself. I miss her so much. I miss her healing smile. She didn't need to use anything to heal people but her present. She still give me a comfort everyday. Before it's too late, if you love someone dearly, let's no...

One of Main practical exams for my remedial massage course has just finished today. I was so nervous despite the fact that I practiced a fair amount beforehand. It's always scary to have exams, especially if it's assessed and watched by teacher. I guess that's the most scary bit. My English usually goes funny, grammar is wrong, forget easy nouns, my mouth does not respond very well. However, great thing about our human ability is the memory of movement. My hands and body remembered what I studied and practiced. I was absolutely nervous but I trusted my body's capability rather than my feeling of fear to the exam. And indeed, my body did a good job. Few month ago, one of our teachers from the college introduced us a learning method which helped me to gain self confidence. Since the experience, my perspective towards myself has been changing. I am not perfect but I feel I am getting there, little by little, to what I want to be. Two months to finish the course, I wa...

Isn't it difficult to get the balance right? And yet you can easily tell when you have good balance inside yourself. That's I am working on. May take a while but I started to feel the good balance. How strange it is that your body "feel" what's right for you or not. Sometime intellect can not explain or logically tell right or wrong but your body can. I am reading an interesting book called "Focusing" by Eugene T. Gendlin , Ph .D. He is talking about the "body sense" that we can't explain with brain by itself. It took too much time to finish reading, and the book is overdue and have to return to library , but I can't stop because it is so interesting. By the way, I started learning flamenco dancing from last month. It's such a passionate dancing and movement is so sexy. I can forget any daily concerns and worries when I practice, just thinking about the steps and music. At the lessen in every week, we have a live guitarist and a te...

D o it how your heart tells you U nknown is the door to the courage N ever give up for what you can be C onfidence comes with experience, so A nother year of life N ever give up for what you want to be

I had been quite healthy for long time until recently fell in sick. I felt so weak physically and mentally. I think that what sickness can do. I was fighting with my thoughts that I shouldn't be that negative minded when I am sick. I felt quite nuisance and feeling like I was losing everything what I was building up to make myself better physically and spiritually. My friend taught me that having the negative thoughts is not always a bad thing. It is a opportunity to release some part of unconscious bit which is usually suppressed in daily life. By seeing opposite side of yourself under challenging situation, you learn more about yourself and life itself. I was saved by hearing that. Now I feel I stepped up a bit after being sick. Being weak is a process of being strong. It was just what I needed to learn.

When we were school kids, teachers made us recite some famous poems. One of those poems which still remain in my mind is " Ame ni mo makezu " by Kenji Miyazawa. I remember the poem especially when winter winds blow against me. I wish there is no lost in English translation as it is very simple and yet dynamic and powerful. I like this philosophical poem that I want to follow and I don't want to forget. There are several versions of translation for this poem, but I think the "Stand up to the rain" is more like the original. 「雨にもまけず」　　宮沢賢治　　　　　　　　　 雨にもまけず　風にもまけず 雪にも夏の暑さにもまけぬ　丈夫なからだをもち 慾はなく　決して瞋らず　いつもしずかにわらっている　　 一日に玄米四合と　味噌と少しの野菜をたべ　　 あらゆることを　じぶんをかんじょうに入れずに　　 よくみききし わかり　そして わすれず　　 野原の松の林の蔭の　小さな萱ぶきの小屋にいて　　 東に病氣のこどもあれば　　行って看病してやり　　 西につかれた母あれば　　行ってその稻の束を負い 南に死にそうな人あれば　行って こわがらなくてもいいといい 北にけんかや そしょうがあれば　つまらないから やめろといい ひでりのときは なみだをながし　さむさのなつは おろおろ あるき みんなに でくのぼうとよばれ　ほめられもせず　くにもされず そういうものに　わたしはなりたい