Reflection

I didn't know until I start thinking why I love things or people in the way I love.

I love rainbows, mornings, singing birds, blue sky, the sea, water, dolphins, butterflies, feathers, stones, shells, beaches, trees, sun shine and grass. Kind words, smiles, laughs, and warm heart. Everything I feel attraction, I don't know why but I love them so much.

Love is intangible feelings that can't "see" clearly and directly. Most of time we don't know why you love in the certain way.

My theory is that you love them because you see your reflection in them. You can see rainbows beautiful because you want to be as colourful and beautiful as a rainbow so that you can make other people happy to see your rainbow. You love the sea because you want to be as strong and calm like the ocean. You love the Sun as you need the Sun for you to shine and enlighten others.

"Who you like to be" or "what you like about things" is a reflection of yourself, reflection of love of yourself that makes who you are and what special about you. Only you can see the love and the beauty in your way, and it's very special to you. That's why if you share your passions with others in the similar way, you feel attraction to the person because you know they are very special to you.

You see clearly what you love about yourself by seeing people around you who loves you and who you love. Because most often they reflect who you are.

So if you feel down and can't see how to love yourself, look around you and seek what you love, or just call your loved ones, have a heartfelt talk with them. You will find yourself in them, warm hearted, thoughtful, kind, caring, and beautiful self.

New season

It's time of new season. Time of the cherry blossoms.
I love this time of year. Somehow make me feel so warm and full of hope.

 

Picture ｆrom:

http://shinshu.fm/MHz/82.40/archives/0000101915.html

Heart

I don't know where to start. I've just been to new work today. I am starting new career as a massage therapist. I am so excited but it hasn't sink into myself.

It's been nearly two month since my dearest friend passed away from aggressive liver cancer on 27/7/09. We studied together hoping we both become good therapists and give comfort to many many people who need support. She became a lovely and professional aroma therapist. She was a mother. She was a woman with wisdom. She opened her big heart to everyone with big sweet smile. She never be judgmental. She always looked into my eyes and said "how are you?" and care for me. She shows me a courage and strength. She never forgot her sense of humor. She loved me to teach me how to love myself.

I miss her so much. I miss her healing smile. She didn't need to use anything to heal people but her present. She still give me a comfort everyday.


Before it's too late, if you love someone dearly, let's not wait to tell them so. Let's not hesitate to show you care.

I am lucky because we knew time was precious then. We could spend good time together in the limited period.

But still I don't know how to describe my heart.

I miss her so much and at the same time I am happy for my new start as a therapist because I know she is very happy for me too.

The strong storm outside blows my sorrow away to heal and allows me to move on.

One by One

One of Main practical exams for my remedial massage course has just finished today. I was so nervous despite the fact that I practiced a fair amount beforehand.

It's always scary to have exams, especially if it's assessed and watched by teacher. I guess that's the most scary bit. My English usually goes funny, grammar is wrong, forget easy nouns, my mouth does not respond very well.

However, great thing about our human ability is the memory of movement. My hands and body remembered what I studied and practiced. I was absolutely nervous but I trusted my body's capability rather than my feeling of fear to the exam. And indeed, my body did a good job.

Few month ago, one of our teachers from the college introduced us a learning method which helped me to gain self confidence. Since the experience, my perspective towards myself has been changing. I am not perfect but I feel I am getting there, little by little, to what I want to be.

Two months to finish the course, I want to make the most of it!

Keep your eyes on the horizon!!

Balance

Isn't it difficult to get the balance right? And yet you can easily tell when you have good balance inside yourself.

That's I am working on. May take a while but I started to feel the good balance.

How strange it is that your body "feel" what's right for you or not.
Sometime intellect can not explain or logically tell right or wrong but your body can.

I am reading an interesting book called "Focusing" by Eugene T. Gendlin, Ph.D.
He is talking about the "body sense" that we can't explain with brain by itself.

It took too much time to finish reading, and the book is overdue and have to return to library, but I can't stop because it is so interesting.

By the way, I started learning flamenco dancing from last month. It's such a passionate dancing and movement is so sexy. I can forget any daily concerns and worries when I practice, just thinking about the steps and music. At the lessen in every week, we have a live guitarist and a teacher who used to live in Spain to master Flamenco while ago. I enjoy dancing as well as the music and rhythm, as if I was in Spain.

Happy birthday my nephew

Do it how your heart tells you

Unknown is the door to the courage

Never give up for what you can be

Confidence comes with experience, so

Another year of life

Never give up for what you want to be

That's all what I needed.

I had been quite healthy for long time until recently fell in sick. I felt so weak physically and mentally. I think that what sickness can do.

I was fighting with my thoughts that I shouldn't be that negative minded when I am sick. I felt quite nuisance and feeling like I was losing everything what I was building up to make myself better physically and spiritually.

My friend taught me that having the negative thoughts is not always a bad thing. It is a opportunity to release some part of unconscious bit which is usually suppressed in daily life. By seeing opposite side of yourself under challenging situation, you learn more about yourself and life itself.

I was saved by hearing that. Now I feel I stepped up a bit after being sick. Being weak is a process of being strong. It was just what I needed to learn.